The Sublime Abidings (also known as the Brahma Viharas, Boundless Ones) are:
- Lovingkindness
- Compassion
- Appreciative (Sympathetic in other places) Joy
- Equanimity
and the four protective meditations are:
- Lovingkindness
- Recollection of the Buddha
- Foulness Meditation
- Recollection of Death
He begins with the first Abiding, Lovingkindess, which he warns should not be developed toward a person of the opposite sex due to the danger of lust. In the monastic setting I might agree, but toward one's spouse or even other persons who are female, I have never had this problem. I think that it could honestly be due to the balance of sexual energies outside of the monastery. While not necessarily better, and it may be an individual thing, but I don't see the danger.
He also suggests not having Lovingkindness toward a dead person because you cannot attain jhana with a dead person as object.
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